True GraceLou, I only knew I couldn't do it anymore. Now I realize I should have done it long ago. Only my guilt (why should I have guilt though?) and some societal contract (it's your MOTHER!) kept me going back. It must be really hard to have family taking sides, I only have a half brother that I don't know very well and he already thought she was drinking too much although still doesn't know everything. He doesn't seem to care that much either which is fine with me. My kids all know her and her games and are all glad I went NC. If I had other family that was pounding on me, it would be harder I think. Kudos to you.