Thread: No Contact
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Old 02-06-2015, 01:13 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
seasaw
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 254
nwgrits - your 'SERENITY NOW' + pound fists gets me every time

I have a grandmother in the picture too - she's 102 though, and there's no way I can explain the situation. So I just tell her my mom is doing great, we talk all the time, etc. It would upset her soooo much to tell her the truth And I would have to talk about it way more! I haven't even told her my partner of 13 years and i broke up - so when we get on the phone it's "yep mom's fine, tom's fine... everyone sends their love!" also it sounds like your husband is really supportive and gets the situation - my partner really got me through the last year and has been GREAT with helping me with the NC thing.

ajarlson -
i'm glad you drew that boundary on Facebook etc. we really DON'T need that! women who i thought of as my aunts because they were my mother's best friends for decades have either stopped talking to me because they believe her BS, or stopped talking to her. none of them live in the state and my mother can be very convincing over the phone. my aunt, who is dealing with the brunt of everything now, confessed that when i first started reaching out she thought i was exaggerating and being melodramatic. now she understands and is really respectful of my boundaries, except she's had to consult with me on a few legal things i had been taking care of before. my mother let my health insurance lapse when she stopped paying her bills but i have an appointment set up at the community clinic with some sort of therapist... we'll see how it goes.

you do find out who your real friends are, who needs to gossip - and just who knows how to deal with real life situations. i lost a bunch of friends who, even though i would tell them what was happening, just didn't get it. i would have to cancel plans all the time because of emergencies or exhaustion and they thought i was just being a flake.

anyway, i wish i could slap a bracelet on my mom's wrist that says 'in case of emergency don't call her daughter' so when people find her they just call 911. i wish i could give her whole town that message. she was once a really famous physician.

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