Originally Posted by Kris47

Hello Gabrielle,

You and your sponsor just didn't seem to jive. It's just like alcohol and I don't jive anymore. There are many ways to get sober but one needs to use all the tools they can to stay sober. What works for one may not work for another. AA has been a godsend for me. At first I wasn't so sure. Any program you really work will take time to adjust to and you are trying to change. To be honest though, I don't think someone you've met online with whom you have to tell your personal stuff to, can work as AA intends it, especially in that small time frame. At least not early on. And although it can take someone as little as a few months to work the steps, they usually read the Big Book from cover to cover and back again. Then both the sponsor will read portions together. It is not anything to take on lightly and not until you know you are ready. I don't think I had enough cognitive thinking to even begin the stepwork til I was over 90 days sober. Holding a grudge or having resentment is like letting someone live rent free in your head. You don't forget this you just learn to Let Go of the baggage. First things first, though, First you need the desire to quit drinking. It's that simple. Easy, no. Don't pick up the first drink. You would be doing yourself a disservice. You have been doing really great. Early sobriety can be a very raw thing. Your emotions can run all over the place and your head is screaming for alcohol. Step one is the catalyst to get the ball rolling. Step 2 is finding that HP. Step 3 is surrendering. Until you can get the first three without any reservations you are not ready to do a step 4. You need real help along the way. SR is a wonderful tool to help or add in your sobriety as is sober friends, family, reading, AA and other disciplines. Please avail yourself of all and any of these modalities. The most important thing is to STAY THE COURSE. For now, make it simple. Just say, I will not pick up a drink today. 24 hours. One Day at a time. Never, never ever give up. You are worth it. I spent too many years giving in to my AV.That's the insanity, doing the same thing over and over again. If you come into the rooms of AA, really work the program. First of all find God. Many people feel the other alcoholics are their HP. Whatever works for you. the important thing is to realize you're not running the show. Something out there is grander than we are. find out what it is. Faith is all you need. And we are here for you, too. Don't give up on yourself.