I don't join pity parties today. I am the worlds worst at enabling someone who's on a pity pot, and that has been one of the character defects I have prayed to have removed, and worked on.
About half the time, if I asked what was wrong, I got blamed for the problem du jour. If someone else was supposedly causing it, and I offered suggestions, I "didn't understand." Today, I have learned to spot it and avoid getting involved. It took a lot of practice to be able to keep myself from jumping in. It's a losing battle. When they get through with the party, I can be a part of things again. It's not an ideal situation, but as a rule, it has worked pretty good for me. hUgs, Magic