I'm a newcomer as well and I wish I had advice or answers but I don't.
The reason I'm here is because for about 2 years my husband would quit, relapse, apologize, quit, relapse, apologize. It was hell on me and him and our 2 years old who probably heard more than he should have. Then, one day, it was done. He was sober for a year before I felt comfortable enough to acknowlege it. Three years and 2 children later, his office was shut done and he didn't have the ability to rebound and he got drunk. I was absolutely crushed. Logically, I knew relapse was part of recovery (and figuaring out you need to do something different) but emotionally, he kicked my @ss. I forgave pretty quickly. Six weeks later, he did it again. Only this relapse lasted 3 days and since I don't allow alcohol in my house, he was not here. I was here with our kids--alone. (In case you can't tell I'm still angry at him.) I blamed myself, "If I would have..., " I saw all of the classic warning signs for a relapse but didn't trust myself to predict it. Anyway, this thinking made me realize how much his drinking/sobriety affected me. I knew I needed help--that's why I'm here.
If you do find answers, let me know, I need some too.
