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Old 01-23-2015, 05:24 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
lizatola
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Originally Posted by Hammer View Post
Ummm, Liz.

I am not smelling a whole lot of planning on your end of this.

Unless that it is intentional -- for some it is -- just driving, going, and doing . . . especially without any money . . . is not always the world's best plan.

Look at some of the folks on here that have done that and it looks like pretty much non-stop drama being inflicted on the kids.

On the other hand, if that is the plan -- no real plan I mean -- just ignore me.

I sort of settled on the "No Plan Plan" as Mrs. Hammer's only real skills are towards the destructive.

Much more a tearer-downer than a fixer-upper, as it were. So with nothing to attack, she does not have much to attack.

But I do not think that is so much your case?

I would propose you sit and think this all through. Especially with Tradition #7 in mind.

Take what you like and leave the rest.
Ok, Hammer: I do have access to cash(other relatively liquid assets) that will last me about 6-9 months. My plan is to file for divorce ASAP. In the end, he will have to pay me my share of the equity in the house and pay me 1/2 his 401K assets. The house equity is what I need moving forward for long term assistance until I can get back on my feet with a job, etc. There are other scenarios here including the fact that he is trying to access his estate money and that he is considering using it to buy me completely out so that he can keep the house AND his 401K. I verified that he has called the executor of the estate, his brother, and that he has an email out to the law firm handling his parents assets.

The unfortunate thing here is that I am a tightwad as much as AH is and I hate the idea of spending money on lawyers, hence the reason I agreed to try a mediator. We have a meeting scheduled next week.

And, for what it's worth, sometimes a well laid plan sounds really great but things never really work out the way you think they will when it comes to divorces and splitting things up. It gets way more complicated so I'm doing the best I can each day, trying to keep my head afloat, and working on finding employment all while homeschooling, shuttling the kid around, meeting with the realtor, the CPA, etc. Lots on my plate and I actually think I'm doing OK with where I'm at.

Sure, there's lots of fear but is there really any good way to go about divorcing this man? Will any real plan work out well? He is not capable of thinking clearly, he doesn't have the energy to research anything, he is full of hot air, etc.

I have spent the last three years working steps 4-7 on this and every other step in between. I'm wondering why a step 7, quite frankly. Where are you going with this? Just curious in case I missed something.
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