I know what you mean Dee. I am the same. however, the 'in love' type of relationships I've been in have usually been 1 sided or been with highly unsuitable men. Almost exciting, dangerous, thrill seeking but never lasting. The crazy up and down, tension and nervousness makes me go actually crazy.
Nice and stable and normal with a bit of excitement of course. Whilst I'm 40 the man in question is 18 years my senior and had resigned himself to a life alone till I came into his life and turned it upside down. he says he is happy and excited that his life is now taking a different course and he has a new passion for life now. Ah we shall see.
Most importantly, I feel so so much better today. Clear headed and sober. I will just enjoy things as they are and if that is not enough for me in the future then I will deal with it then.
Again., I have been very self indulgent today
I hope all classmates are doing well and looking forward to the weekend