When I first came to this board..oh so long ago...I was a mess. My son was so messed up on drugs and drink..I felt like a failure as a mom, as a human being. I found after coming here and getting many hugs...and even the septer for my kid ripping me off in the hospital...:-)...yes, I can smile about it now...Well, I found that what I have been though..the path that I had to somehow slowly tread had indeed been walked by others..and they were more than happy to reach out and support me when I needed it...even when I didn't realize that I did.
Over time, I quit coming here on an hourly basis...even on a daily basis as I learned how to let go of the son I knew and began to see that this person he has become was because he made his choices..God knows, I would have never said "Hey SonnyBoy..try this..ohhwee man...puts you over the top". NO..no more than me loving him was enough to bring him back to earth and make him stop...All I could do is remove myself from HIS situation..and not let him come in to mine. I did all this..over the course of the last year...and while I cannot for sure and certain swear that he is no longer doing drugs and he doesnt get drunk on a daily basis (if at all)...I CAN say that my life is so much more calm...because I demand that it stay that way.
I still come here at least once a week...to offer myself to those that are new to the path...I will still stand and help someone else walk it...because I have been there..and I still have the lumps and bumps to prove it..
On a side note: I had someone say to me once that it wasnt the same dealing with an alcoholic / drug dependent child as it was with a SO...I just looked at them...thinking to myself...why should one be more than the other. Anyone out there have any thoughts on this?