Well well well!
Other than the first 5 days of detox in early December, this has been the easiest transition of my life. I do not know why. Since the second week I have felt no urge to drink at all, and once in a while I think about what it was like, and honestly, it is gone. Disappeared. I do not wrestle with it at all. I don't know what happened to make this happen but I do know that it was the one thing that I wanted for myself at all, and I grabbed it when I realized I was an alcoholic immediately, no more playing around.
Since then, I have lost 14 pounds, I sleep like a rock and I have more energy than I ever did before. I am now starting a diet and exercise regime so I will keep my journal here for how that is going. I still have nightmarishly long days and I am exhausted, but my fear of not being able to sleep is gone, because I only want to sleep all of the time, get my work done, be me.
I am.
People tell me I look better, not knowing what was going on with me before. I remember things now, I realise connections and see through things and I am quite frankly on top of things and actual plans are getting implemented whereas before, I had an idea or fleeting thought or whatever, in it flew and out it poofed away, never to come around again.
I just don't think about alcohol.
I hope there is nothing wrong with me, and for a few weeks I haven't taken the neurontin. Only in the first couple of weeks did I take it 3x a day, and the 4th week twice or less, now none.
Have I actually weeded it out, no cravings, nada? no thoughts or urges?
is something wrong or is this just a phase???
Pach...........................
