Well, I did it.
So, I posted last week how my AV was planning it's attack for my long weekend. To drink for 2 days, then detox for 2 before going back to work on Thursday. That's not exactly how it went down. I drank for 2 days, then 2 more days. Then called in "sick" to work on Thursday. Also had day 6 (Friday) covered at work in case I was still "sick". There's a bug going around at work that everyone's getting so it wasn't too much of a stretch. So, I continued drinking the second I knew I was covered at work on Thursday. Friday it was finally enough and I needed to just lay on the couch all day and try to hydrate. Couldn't keep anything down by that point anyway, so there was no point trying to drink any more.
Something that scared the hell out of me happened on one of the days of my binge (not sure which day). I'd only had a couple of drinks that day and was running low on vodka. Couldn't risk running out of the stuff, so I decided to go get some more before I got too drunk to drive. So I got in my car and went to the nearest liquor store, which is right around the corner from my place.
At the store I grabbed my bottle and went to the checkout. The lady behind the counter asked for my ID. I just stood there with a wad of $ in my hand not comprehending. I slurred "what?" She asked again. So I just stood there, not sure what she was asking me. I truly did not understand. Just stood there looking through my wad of cash for something that might help. "If you don't have ID I can't sell to you." So I staggered off without a word.
Of course, my ID was in my wallet in my back pocket, I just couldn't figure out that that was what she wanted.
So I got back in my car and drove to the next closest liquor store which was a few miles away. Got my bottle without showing ID and went home.
First: I had drank so much that I couldn't comprehend the simple task of taking my wallet out of my back pocket to show my ID. Didn't think I was drunk, just hungover right then. Yet I just stood there looking like a drunken idiot.
Second: I drove in that condition! I could have been arrested or killed somebody. I'm lucky that lady behind the counter didn't look out the window to see if I was driving and call the police. She definitely should have.
Third: WTF?! Going from 2 weeks sober to THAT?!
This is my third failed attempt at staying sober since I joined here in November. I'm not broken, but I am shaken and more than a little scared.
Today is day 4 again. Going to start working on a plan today. My plan before was to just not drink. It seems I need more than that.
So, that's my update. I've been reading here on SR for the last couple of days but haven't posted because...I don't know. Shame, I guess. Hope everyone's well.