Lancashire

Over the past week, there have been numerous opportunities for me to start drinking again and get away with it, at least for a little while.

Just last night, I was in hotel in Leeds, with Wife and went to the shops to buy snacks, now normally I take the route via the bars and sink a few both to and from the shops, not last night.

I just went to the shop and asked for non-alcoholic grape juice with hibiscus, which is my drink, when I want to celebrate now.

I poured the bottle that looked like wine into two glasses, one for me and one for my Wife and she told me how proud she was that I hadnt started drinking again, she also asked me what it was like.

I said the first week was no picnic, I had this voice in my head, just trying to convince me to drink. The second week, was about me, trying to convince myself, that I no longer had a problem and could drink in moderation.
I didnt listen to it, just kept myself sober.

This week, especially since Hypnosis, I havent had any cravings, voices or struggle to stay sober. Its like my body, mind and spirit have all accepted that my drinking days are over. I told her, that it is like I had reached my life long limit of being drunk, turned a corner and past the point of no return.

For me to go back drinking now would be nothing short of self-harming, because I have no cause to or even desire too.

I said happy to birthday to her and I could tell she trusts me again. 19 days after that trust was shattered on New Years, she has her Husband back.

I normal, which I will take. I don't feel like an enlightened soul, telling the world all my problems are solved by not drinking.

I just feel normal and instead of hiding from my problems, I can deal with them soberly and eliminate them fast. I will take normal, I want to be normal for a while if this so called pink mist comes, then great. Normal is fine for me right now.

I will never start back drinking again, because financially I am so much better off and it does actually feel quite liberating, not to be dependant on any substance or drink. I feel independent.