Thank you for the responses. After a drinking night, I will be able to have a strong commitment and stay away for 2 weeks or so and then it gets really difficult.
It feels harder getting up this time because last time I had everything on my side. I cut out all my drinking friends, built more of a support network, had the “2015 new year feeling” – and I still decided to go to a bar. After multiple attempts, I just don’t know how this new time will be any different. Just feel disappointed in myself.
There is a part of me that feels “Why Bother?”. However, that could just be the AV. I just feel lost.