We used a mediator last summer. 3 meetings, 3 attorneys (the mediator plus our lawyers) 9 hours = expensive. Xah sat back while the four of us women worked to get it done.
After 7 hours, xah decided he wanted to change everything in the negotiations.
That was a lot of money and effort mostly wasted.
I think every divorce, like every marriage, is different. Figure out what your spouse is likely to do in that scenario and go with your gut. But with someone who isn't so stable, it could be tough no matter which path you choose.
Good luck with all the change! You sound good!