The Bliss Of Indifference
My Mindset and Training is to examine assumptions and reject them - if required - at the most fundamental level possible. I'm continually, casually, reexamining 'accepted' Truths. Many are unsupportable, and need to be tossed. I have that right.
In the present case, if Jealousy is the result of coveting something I want, I upend and rework the equation. I morph it into something I don't want. Outcome? Jealousy evaporates. It's not easy. But, I did find it fairly simple, given focus. It's like opening a Box. There's another metaphorical Box inside [the assumption that Drinking is something I want]. There's another inside that. Keep opening those Boxes until reaching the core of the issue. When in doubt, question. Rinse and repeat.
Ultimately, this exercise distills down to indifference about wanting to Drink ever again. There is practical solace in mentally excavating, and reaching this point.
My Wife drinks, and daily hits either 'upper' Pot, or the Gift a Gal Pal gave her of a Hash Oil Vape. In that she doesn't turn into some Caricature of a 'Cheech & Chong' Stoner, I simply don't covet her 'ability' to engage in that Behavior. This eliminates Jealousy at the core. When Drinking at insane consumption levels, I turned into a sotted Blob. She doesn't. I Sunburn easily. She doesn't. So what? I see those differences between us now in the same light; as potential Mindset obstacles I simply need to accept. I've moved beyond even seeing them as obstacles. The Mind - unfettered by debasing Sloganeering like 'A sick Mind can't heal a sick Mind' - can do this. I didn't get that Memo, fortunately.
I carefully pick & choose Social Situations where there's a bunch of Drinkers. I don't avoid all of them, nor Bars. I, and I alone, control my reaction to all this. In a healthy sense, that is true Power. Self-determination.
I'm over this 'Life Is Unfair' Drinking conundrum by not giving two shakes about it anymore. As a Female Boss used to tell me, using her Thanksgiving Turkey Metaphor: 'Stick a Fork in my Azz. I'm done'.
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