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Old 01-11-2015, 01:42 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
Turtle82
Sober Alcoholic
 
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: northern AZ
Posts: 796
I'm a solid "P" () and have been in a close relationship with a solid "J" for about 30 years. We drive each other nuts in a few ways. I've come to understand that J likes closure and P likes to leave things open-ended. Just a few examples: She'll show up with car loaded with stuff and have to unload it right when she arrives.... just a quick hug but sitting down, when we haven't seen each other in months, for a cup of tea and talk.... not... she won't stop thinking about that car. Me, the car unload can wait. Going anywhere, for her, there must be at least an inkling of a destination. Me, let's just go and end up where ever... the point is visiting while we do. I find her ways far too limiting or confining but, being the "P," I roll with it. She feels anxiety doing it my way though so we don't even try that anymore. Oh, and I seriously irritate her whenever I state another possible viewpoint or option when she's already made up her mind which is usually very quickly compared to my process. I've learned to just bite my tongue and file it. LOL And, she's learned to just grab one off the shelf and drag me to the checkout rather than spend the half-hour with me trying to make up my mind while shopping. So... yes, these two can get along but it takes quite a bit of effort... love, acceptance and patience above all else. But, not to offend any J's, when she starts getting a bit controlling... like the only way is her way... I have to be firm about the "don't tell me what to do" reminder. And she takes it. It works through understanding each other.
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