I Want to be Adored
My 8 year non-drinking spouse (I hesitate to use the word "sober") and I are going through a tremendously difficult time, with a break-up seeming imminent. In the first ten years of our relationship, she adored me, sung my praises to her girlfriends and loved everything about me. In the past four years, that has changed, considerably. Now, everything I do seems to infuriate her and I'm growing angry and resentful, though trying to deal with that positively.
I realize I have a strong desire to be adored and, on occasion, comforted, neither of which I've felt from her in years.
Is it wrong, unhealthy or unrealistic to want to be adored? It really seems to be a deep desire tracing back to my charismatic, successful but demanding father, to whom I feel I never measured up (until his later years, when he became very accepting and proud of me). I'm trying to work through these family of origin issues and wondering about the healthiness/destructiveness of this deep desire.
Thoughts?