Art..welcome!!
The biggest thing I have in common is being married as long as you...longer. Beyond that I am also stubborn, independent and strong willed...oh and my husband still drinks.
You can't push her recovery any more than I can push my husband's. I am Al Anon for over 10 years. My recovery has affected him...spilled out on him and he has benefited from it but the last thing he is going to say is that I am right.
As the wife in a long term marriage the things I appreciate are the small things. But then that is me...I am in recovery.
As the wife of a man not in recovery? He also appreciates the small things...the actions.
I am sure there are things you can do to lighten her load whether it is perceived or real. We rarely fight anymore so it can be done.
And please qualify what I just said by the fact that I am a woman and in my world picking up your socks might be all it takes....
Congrat's on your sobriety! And going to Al Anon! Keep going back...
Hugs and welcome!!
JT