Redrosesdz,
My heart hurts for what you are going through, and have been for a long time.
You cannot let him ruin your house, health, and life. I can understand your feelings ...I truly do. But when it comes to them being destructive, a line must be drawn, in my opinion.
If you must, you can call police about him threatening you, or damaging your home. If he spends time in jail, so be it. He is terrorizing you when he does this, and that is unacceptable. Perhaps you could speak to the judge or his lawyer and get it mandated that he get mental help.. counselling, insist he go to AA or be out, or a half way house if they will take him. He might very well do better if he has to mentally figure these things out on his own. And you could have your life back, because I know you want that.
Are you going to Al-anon, and do you have one in your area? Counselling for yourself would be a good idea, as I had to do the same.
It sounds like he could use some therapy as well. Could you insist he do so, basically "or else'? sometimes their mental issues must be addresses, as well as not drinking.
you should not have to live a prisoner in your own home. He would probably manage if he had to do so.
big hugs to you. we have a lot of mama's who understand your dilema, and who have done some awesome work to get their peace back.
keep posting!
hugs
chicory