lizatola

So, AH had been putting pressure on me to tell our son ASAP about the divorce. I wanted to have time to meet with the lawyer, get the realtor over here to help me price it and give me feedback on what needs to be fixed, etc. I wanted things more planned out before we told our son.

I have been pushing AH to tell me what he wants to see happen: Does he want us to sell the house and split it all? Does he want to keep the house and buy me out? Does he want to have me keep the house and the equity and he gets to keep his 401K? I sent him this 6 days ago and never heard back from him. I, again, pressed him today to tell me what he'd like to see happen. All he says is that he wants our son to know. He will NOT give me an answer or any indication of what he wants to see happen. I, at one point, told him that I wanted to move out soon before we sell the house and he balked at it and told me that it makes no sense to have 2 homes with 2 sets of living expenses.

His most recent email to me stated, "Our son deserves to be treated like an adult." UGH....here we go with baiting me to argue. He keeps saying that he's following my lead but I wonder what tactic he's really hiding behind.

He did say that once we get things on the table with our son that we would be allowed to talk about stuff freely instead of via email. He seems to think that the reason we aren't speaking to each other is because our son doesn't know and that it's not out in the open??? Seriously? Yeah, it has nothing to do with the fact that he's not a safe person to talk to, that he patronizes me at every turn (one of the emails said: Perhaps you could enlighten me as to how this would be the best option?), that he uses sarcasm and disdain and criticism to get his point across.....or, how about the fact that it's not appropriate to talk to our son about this stuff.

I'm about ready to blow. It's so hard to NOT take the bait and just go at him with everything I've got.

So, I sent him an email back today and told him that I will still not engage in conversation with him about the divorce or the finances in front of our son. I told him that our son is still a child and that we do not need to speak to him as an adult and that even adult children don't want to be privy to their parent's problems. I then told him that email works best for me.

I'm not sure what he's up to. I'm definitely not sure what I'm in for.....but, I am so very ready to move on and be done. I no longer have one foot out the door and one foot in, I have both feet out and I'm making plans to find a job, pay off credit cards, paring down the stuff in the house by listing things on swip swap, craigslist, etc.

I had to go into the master bedroom closet because I still have some stuff in there (I moved into the guest bedroom last year) and I saw his new monster bottle of whatever it was. That means he still actively drinking and isn't trying to hide it anymore. Fine by me, but it's just the information I need to solidify my resolve.