Hi Stayingpositive,
For years, I thought that someday I'd cut way back and drink like a normal person. During these years I drank heavily every single night and was hungover every single day. As time went on I thought that maybe I would only drink on New Years or my my birthday, ya know, once a year wouldn't hurt, right?
All that went out the window when I finally accepted that to have a happy and productive life, I needed to be a non-drinker. No alcohol, ever. I have found that it's actually much easier to not drink at all than to try and cut back or drink less. That never worked. And if I did drink less one or two nights, I would obsess over the amount I was drinking and always wishing that I could have more. So much stress!
I finally stopped when the drinking life became harder than not drinking at all. What a shock that [I]not [I]drinking is easier in every way. Waking up is easier. Work is easier. Cleaning the house is easier. Remembering to pay bills is easier.
Someone on here made a really good point today that two beers, hypothetically, offers no more pleasure to us than tomato juice because it doesn't get us drunk. I'm guessing you were like me and drank to get drunk. I drank to "check out," to numb myself. That wouldn't work with moderate drinking so I gave up the fight.
I'm looking forward to hearing more from you!