Originally Posted by
champ72 
How will I have fun? How will I be able to talk to people? How will I relax? Then there's the shame side of it. I don't want anyone to know that I turned into my mother. If anyone has similar stories it would help me to hear them. I am scared ******** to be honest. Today is the 1st day of my 2 week holiday. I should be feeling great, instead I just feel so sad
It doesn't seem like you are having very much "fun" right now...it seems like you are miserable! Your story sounds so much like mine! In the beginning the alcohol was our friend...we DID have fun. It sucked us in and then turned into our worst nightmare, our enemy, our killer.
Honestly, drinking was NOT fun for me at the end. All I thought about was suicide. (And I have a husband, kids, house, cars, A LIFE that alcohol was trying to steal from me!) I was hopeless, anxious, depressed, full of shame and guilt...in hell!
I'm only 3+ weeks sober and I can honestly say it's "night and day" already! I am active in AA which is vital for me and SR is great too! The first week or so is the hardest but if you just don't drink no matter what....it gets easier!!!
If you feel you need detox, see your doctor. You may need help with that b/c it can be dangerous. I believe in you. If I can stay sober, anyone can! Treatment is another option that helps many! Outpatient is great too!
You're in my prayers! You CAN do this! You can change your life! You can be an amazing parent to your children! You can be happy. Alcohol will never make you happy again. It's only goal now is to kill you slowly...from the inside out. I watched one of my best friends die of this disease last year. She had 4 young children, a husband, she was successful, beautiful. Now she is dead. Watching her children at the funeral crying and asking for their mommy was heartbreaking! She was young! Now she's gone. :-(
I believe in you!!!!!! :-)