I'm so sorry, SVL. It's going to take a lot of work and time for him to change. He must be willing to take a good long look at himself and his behaviors to do it. He's just not there yet.
It is so hurtful, I know, but please be good to yourself and realize that his anger is misdirected. The distrust and anger he feels are at HIMSELF, not you. He is just so un-self-aware he doesn't realize it yet. I really hope therapy helps.
Hang in there and focus on taking care of you and your kids. You're amazing and deserve to be treated with respect. Sending much love and healing thoughts your way. xoxoox