Originally Posted by
dandylion 
Todzilla....very true...while she may never change...you do have to get to the bottom of your issues for your own inner peace and that of y our child. I am glad to hear that you are mindful enough to not want to repeat a pattern down the road.
I do know that you can absolutely do this. Do you mind my asking how old your child is?
dandylion
Thanks, Dandylion! Child in question is 16, with college ambitions in a year and a half. Impending empty nest is weighing on my wife's mind no doubt. My two older kids, from my first marriage, are in their early thirties. I saw the pain they suffered through their Mom's and my divorce (they were 2&5 at the time) and I hate to inflict that on my youngest. Older kids are an Emergency Veterinarian and an MD, both in healthy relationships, so I know it's not an irrevocable sentence.
My current issue is letting go of trying to get my wife to recognize her behavior toward me and it's destructive effects. I keep clinging to the hope she'll become self-aware and change. She may, but that'll be her move, not mine.