Update:
Since the 7th, when I came home from detox, I have to say something wonderful is back in my life, and that is feeling naturally tired; exhausted, even. I feared not being able to sleep because of something that happened for a few months between 2008 and 2009, wintertime, between November and February 14th. It was a nightmare. Up until the past couple of years, I needed to feel safe and sleepy, unable to fall asleep, needing a drink or two only. Maybe an amaretto and o.j. after a glass of red. I know now, it gradually took more, as my stress and anguish over my daughter grew over me, leaving an unsettled feeling all day, every day. My only solace would be to sleep through it and not cry all night long, which, for a long time, I did. I still do. But I am also tired now from about 9 p.m. onward. I feel, I cry, I tire, I sleep, I awaken, I live, I am healthy. I feel, ALIVE!
Merry Christmas to all, and may God bless everything, for it matters not where you are or who you worship. God is love, does not take prisoners, and therefore I will not keep myself prisoner, for love is love, and I love myself. I resolve to stay this way, the real me, the real Pach . . . so that I can continue on with my life's path.
This is my Christmas gift to myself, and my wish for everything and everyone, everywhere.
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