I don't hate my life without my drugs.. but I liked it more with my drugs. But, little by little... Which in itself is a TALL order for those of us that sought immediate relief in whatever drug we chose. That is what is so challenging. All this time it is going to take. Well - I could get high within like 10 minutes. This order of months and months is overwhelming to me.
But. I will say - go to a meeting. It starts there. And it is so good for you. I am going to one today, even though I HATE the thought of it. But not going isn't working.
And by going I have seen life on the other side. I see living examples that smile at me and tell me how they were EXACTLY like me at one time. And they are so happy and serene and SOBER now. So. Seeing real live humans that actually resemble me in all different ways gives me some sort of direction.
And I don't know if I am on my way to life long sobriety or not right now. BUT I am going to stay clean for today. That's all I can promise to you right now. (even if I have to go to bed at 6 pm).
HANG IN THERE. I hear it is really great on the other side.