Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy I got engaged on Xmas to xAH...
And it has been sad the last few years and is sad this year too leading up to xmas bc my memories of xmas with him are wrapped up in remembering that...
He proposed at my moms, with all my family around. That is still where I go for xmas so I feel like I am hit with all these memories year after year.
My kids love being there for xmas so I am going, despite wishing I could skip it.
And I know that in time I wont be sad, but once again it has hit me hard, that all the hopes, dreams etc... I had that xmas we got engaged, not only never happened but the antithesis of them all came true.
There is nothing to be done to fix this or change it-- it is what it is-- I am sad, I wish life had turned out differently and having xmas day be the day I got engaged kind of sucks bc it is tainted.
And on top of being sad about this, my best friend, who vascillates between whining about the men in her life and painting them as amazing and perfect, wants to talk endlessly about how amazing the formerly jerk boyfriend is and I just DONT want to hear it.
I am down and not in the mood to hear about her giddy rollercoaster relationship that is on an upswing right now.
Just having a pitty party for myself I guess...
Life sure isn't like the movies... especially the Christmas ones... where people love one another and everything turns out all warm and fuzzy. Many people get down this time of year because they're dwelling on how it "should" be instead of how it is actually containing some lovely things they miss out on because of that yard stick. The people who shared in your happiness that Christmas are still the same people.
One particular thing jumped out at me as I read your post and I'm not sure I understand what you said. Is the "jerk boyfriend" hers or your x-fiance? If its your X, then I wouldn't call her a best friend. Sorry JMHO there. But either way the way you describe her is what I called boy-crazy in high school... I guess its man-crazy when our bodies get bigger. Can you redirect the conversation to something with a bit more substance?