I am in a similar boat in you livestronger as I am going back to school. I could also tell my husband was having some issues with my drinking since he would make snarky remarks about it. If your wife has given you a warning about another episode, I would recommend heeding that warning since it sounds like she has had it. You're risking your marriage at this point by continuing. It sounds like you need to figure out what is important to you.
Paloverde had some great advice. If you are concerned about your social outings, plan to do other things during those times and then say you're busy if you don't like the doctor excuse. They'll eventually stop asking. You can also suggest going out for breakfast.
Personally, I have been much happier since quitting alcohol. I finally got a month sober yesterday. Like you, I was scared since I couldn't envisage a life without alcohol, but I knew if I kept going, life was going to get worse. I don't feel I could have done it without the support of everyone here. SR is truly an amazing place. I hope you stick around Livestronger.