Ready, it sounds like you've entered the emotional vortex -- it's so close to being drunk, maybe that's why it's such a trigger. Once in, a person can't think straight, everything seems so dramatic, running full tilt back and forth between "they love me I matter" and "they love me not I'm a worthless piece of crap."
That's me, anyway
Try, try, try to stay in the moment. When/if you're with this person you're fond of, enjoy! Be peaceful, be kind, be present. Don't talk of your future, don't dwell on your past. A relationship like your sobriety is made one moment at a time.
I don't know what I'm talking about, being hardly the Queen of Relationships
But these thoughts comfort me when I'm worrying about how hard it is for me to form bonds, and maybe they'll comfort you, too.