Thank you Dee & Courage. I appreciate your responses. I was getting pretty anxious as no one after Anna responded -how silly does that sounds
When I posted it I thought I was helping people who may be looking to date in early sobriety. After I'd posted though I realized that it as me who needed help. Thank you so much for your responses. I feel I can be more open on here with you and I know it is me that needs help.
What you said courage really resonated with me and has helped immensely. I do feel I am getting too emotionally caught up with him. It's not as though I left mr ral for him. My marriage was in trouble and I wasn't happy. We are very very close friends and realized it was more than that. But I would be lying if I said he wasn't a factor. I genuinely think if there is any chance of us being together then I will take it.
I suppose I thought that once I was single things would naturally progress but it doesn't appear to be the case. He seems to be backing off. He has his own issues of winter blues, anxiety etc though at least isn't an alcoholic!
I was honest with him which is a new thing for me- In relationships when drinking I was always the person I thought they wanted me to be, the person they would like more etc etc. It's a totally new experience for me to realize that I matter and what is good for me is important. I know him well enough to be honest and I am. It's such a learning curve. I was so tired yesterday too which didn't help, I feel much better today
At the end of the day what will be will be.We can't force others to love us or want to be with us.
We talked and I felt much better. We are taking it slowly. At the end of the day what will be will be. I now have no expectations and cannot control how another person thinks or feels. We are good friends and that is the most important thing.
Thank you for reminding me NOT to invest all my emotional stuff into one person. I really needed to hear that as was on the verge of doing that. Now I have to just back off which is something I'm not used to doing. Gosh I sound like a right crazy, stalker, Fatal Attraction type person!!!