Thanks for the thoughtful replies... It is comforting in a way I suppose to know that this is not something unique to me nor something I alone have had to deal with.
Having grown up in a family that praised and valued being a doormat with no wants or needs of ones owns ever being respected and in fact, being insulted for having unique opinions or wants and not always finding it fun to care take for the adults on the scene, THIS setting of my own boundaries and deciding what I will and wont live with is new, and scary a bit at times.