Welcome. I totally understand what you're going through. It is really hard to watch someone destroy themselves piece by piece on a daily basis. Even harder with kids involved.
You are all understandably concerned for him and his health, but as Amy said, he is an adult and this is how he is choosing to live at this time.
What you can do is leave him to his choices and take care of yourself. May I ask the ages of your kids? If they are tweens or teens then Alateen meetings might be a good option for them. If they are younger, Celebrate Recovery has programs for all ages. I attend Alanon myself, but I know several members here have had good experiences at Celebrate Recovery.
Just because he doesn't want to go to AA doesn't mean your whole family has to stay stuck revolving around his disease. I remember that awful dynamic where the drinker's moods and behavior are the center of the universe and everything else takes a backseat. It was a terrible way to live.
Big hugs to you. Keep reading and posting. We are here for you.