My family dynamic is such that most people choose denial and avoidance as coping mechanisms - hence core issues do not get resolved.
My family imploded around the plight of my grandson. We had all come together for support at first (rehab, counseling, SLE, etc.) then it just became too painful and too much. Scapegoating ensued, factions split off - people basically resorting to coping mechanisms.
In my family there does not seem to have been any way this could have been avoided, so I am choosing to see the positive impact from the very painful situation: I have grown enormously from being forced to cope on my own. I assume the same is true to differing degrees for others . . .some have resorted to their own addictions, but again, I feel there has been learning and growth on all sides.
On second thought, what could have actually helped us navigate the process would have been a savvy counselor. The one we had was a self-appointed church counselor who way overstepped his bounds by declaring the alcoholic did not have a dual diagnosis - he also created the scapegoating dynamic and pit family members against each other. If we would have had a counselor schooled in family systems and addictions, I think the results could possibly have been much better.