I have depression.
I have also suffered intense loss.
When my brother died, I actually had pain in my heart.
I thought I too would die.
I worried about my baby brother and wanted to shield him from pain.
I couldn't.
I was just thinking, while reading this thread, that the depression I have now is worse.
Grief is valid, real, justified.
There is no arguing with someone's right to grieve.
It does get better.
I remember at the time, my mother talked about their first baby more than my brother. The baby that died was not known to the world. There was no fanfare. She felt guilt. She said at the time that she had not spoken about her first baby enough. She felt guilt. Strange, but understandable.
Depression is a rotten, isolating place to be.
People get frustrated, bored and impatient with the depressed person, driving them further from the light.
I recently started a new job.
I had a medical.
I told them about the medical condition which is a guaranteed month off work, nothing.
Then, I told them about depression. Oh my! I was put through hoops!
They wanted a guarantee that I was able to do the job, medical records, notes from GP etc.
I had been in this job for six months with no sick time, no problems.
I felt under siege.
I told the doctor, I will NOT be providing any more info or details.
Pass me for the job or goodbye.
They did.
For anyone with depression, you know how that felt.
Humiliated, vulnerable, broken, tainted, etc.
Ok, I ramble.
For the depressed person, yes, I do actually have to force myself to go for a walk, call someone, meet up with people. It is a case of thinking/acting my way out of the doldrums.
For some, myself included, medication can be the jumpstart out of the "dead battery" stage.
I am considering taking something now.
Even the thought that I can take something and know what works for me, keeps me going.
Ok, done.
Thanks so much for this thread.
Let's be kind to one another.