Shil.....this is the way I look at it: It really doesn't matter what you say--IN TERMS OF WHETHER HE WILL ULTIMATELY GAIN HIS SOBRIETY OR NOT. He will get it if he really wants it for himself. The reason for not addressing the details of his drinking or not drinking is that it is a boundary that can be protective of YOU. To keep you out of power struggles with him...to keep from starting stupid arguments...to keep you from the i llusion that you can control his drinking...to keep you from WALKING ON CONSTANT EGGSHELLS. Only worry about what you say IF you want life to be easier for YOU.
I had years of experience with this aspect. I can tell you that if you touch that topic by offering praise..specific encouragements...asking questions...etc. It will backfire on you, eventually, like a defective firecracker. My A saw it as someone trying to come between him and his drink---therefore I was (silently) seen as the "enemy". I was seen as pressuring. I was blamed when he needed a good "excuse" for drinking. It triggered countless outbursts of irritation and angry remarks.
I had to get to the point of such detachment from the whole subject of alcoholism and drinking that it "didn't exist" to me. Except for certain boundaries for myself...such as, if I could detect that he had been drinking or sounded hung over...I would say "call me when you are sober/ or not hung over"...and hang up. NO praise. Praise was definitely resented. I know that that is counter-intuitive--but it is. No encouragement.
That left everything else in the world to talk about....talk about anything else that you would normally talk about. I say this because it is easier to list what not to talk about that to tell you what to talk about.
Trust me...when you become truly detached...they will notice!! It really does.
Always try to keep in mind that boundaries are for YOU...not to try to change the alcoholic (because you can't).
Now, this is purely my experience. Some will disagree with me, of course...LOL!
I hope this helps...
dandylion