Originally Posted by LexieCat

I hardly know what to say to that.

It isn't a matter of "skill," it's a matter of focus. And also tending to your own issues and problems and allowing someone else the dignity of handling their own.

I can remember when my brother and I took horseback riding lessons when we were kids. He's two years younger than I am (so I was like 13 and he was 11 or so), and the whole time I'd be yelling "advice" to him about what he was doing wrong. I still remember the instructor, in the center of the arena, yelling, "Keep your heels down, Lexie's Brother! Mind your own business, Lexie!"

And she was exactly right. As long as I was paying attention to what he was doing (wrong, in my not-so-expert opinion), I was not paying attention to what *I* was doing wrong.

It's also a different story if someone ASKS for help with something. Sometimes it's OK to help, and other times it's best to let someone figure it out on their own, or to seek help from someone with a lot more experience.

You're very newly sober, yourself. What you are doing isn't good for either one of you, based on my years of experience in recovery.