Old 12-14-2014, 12:36 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Soberintexas007
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Originally Posted by jarp View Post
Surely every A is different in this way and should be left to determine and manage their own boundaries here?

My RAH very specifically said to his large family (who love a drink) that he didn't want them to change their drinking habits in front if him, because that would be just 'too weird' for him and he'd feel even more in the spotlight and awkward than he does already.

I struggled w this to be honest...I thought it would be just too hard for him to resist....because I didn't trust I this ability to maintain his own boundary....because I was so used to controlling (or tying to control) him.

I know you mean well...my RAH is coming up 4 months sober and with every week I'm seeing how futile and counterproductive my attempts were (and still are) to 'get' him to sobriety and to 'keep' him there.

Seriously....I'd stay out of it. It's hard. If his family sending you pics of booze and it's compromising YOUR sobriety then by all means communicate that, but give your H the opportunity to think for himself...?
My husband did respond that he could not understand why his family was sending those pics. It was great that he spoke up about his feelings, as he has been so used to suppressing his feelings to his family to keep the peace.
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