Sounds like me Pach only sober time knocks off the peaks and valleys of my attention span and my shortcomings.
Frustration from the need to control can be lessened by activity that works for me as meditation.
Leave it and come back later when patience returns.
How important is it really. One day at a time. First things first. Easy does it. Restraint of tongue and pen. I love AA slogans cause they defuse my shortcomings.
Do what works for you Pach, but don't drink alcohol. I love water cause my body is 67 percent water.