Victortaz,
Welcome and thank you so much for sharing your life. I consider it a gift. You are amazing to have survived all that you have and be here to tell of your victories.
I know the severe pain and terror of those flashbacks. No one should have to go through that, but there is a purpose somehow in all of this.
I'm doing pretty well myself except for shame memories that overwhelm me now and then and my inner child is not free yet. Maybe I should go ride a Merry-go-round or play hide and seek or kick the can.
I don't know why, but when someone shares a story like you just did I see beauty. I hate that we had to go through what we did, but we gained something that can't be replaced. I'm not sure even how to label it. It's something that comes deep from within us. Don't you feel like you've been somewhere that most people will never go?
It's crazy to say, but I wouldn't trade the experience of recovery and self discovery and the relationship I have with God because of all of this.
You have given your children a gift by breaking the cycle.
Please stay with us and offer your experience, strength and hope to others. We're here if you have a bad day too. I have those days for sure.
Many hugs to you and your family,
MG