So the state says your Ex-husbands actions do not meet the "legal level of neglect"
Not exactly sure what that is a fancy word for........... ( sounds like a crock of doo doo to me)
But as missfixit said , send sleeping bags over with them, pack them some non perishable snacks, peanut butter,cheese, crackers dried fruit, etc...
I am by no means condoning your husbands actions, simply trying to come up with viable working solutions to ensure your kids well being.
I certainly cannot view making sure your kids are warm and fed while in his care as a form of enabling. You are simply being mom. and taking care of business
My exhusband also had the "my time mentality" so i do know what you are saying, I had to let go of the Birthday party and play date stuff, after all it was COURT ORDERED, .
Gotta stay in YOUR sandbox, and work with what you do have control over.