Take your time, hon, and just grieve the loss of your beloved fur baby. I went through it in August when I had to have my 15 year old kitty put down due to cancer. She was with me through so much and didn't really like anyone except me. She made me feel special.
So much has been going on in your life the past few years. I'm sure you have a lot of pent up sorrow and anger and anxiety, etc. Go ahead and allow yourself to feel the feelings you need to. We all have to do it sometime. (((HUGS)))