Thank you all so much for the stories you've shared with me and for all the warm welcomes! On one hand it's nice to know that I'm not the only one out there that this happens to, but on the other I'm sorry that anyone has ever had to experience/feel like this and I feel for you all greatly...
@blueyes618: I had a close experience to that on this past 4th of July with my family. I ended up confronting people on things I had no business voicing my opinions about. The next day I was so embarrassed and had to call everyone and apologize.
UPDATE: So I was able to talk to my boyfriend who had the chance to talk with his friend. I did NOT sleep with him. (Thank God for small favors) But he was "touching" me...he says that I let him...I don't think that part is true but I'll take that explanation over sleeping with him any day.
@gettingsmarter: you are 100% correct. I hold myself accountable for that. I can't use the fact that I was blacked out as any kind of excuse. Now I'm just praying for the strength to never allow myself to do that to myself or others ever again.
My boyfriend is being fully supportive in this new situation for me/us. He wasn't trying to even the score, I really did mess up and/or get taken advantage of. He's mad at himself right now for not being there to stop it, even more mad at his friend. He knew I had a problem but didn't know the right way to talk to me about it so he just never said anything at all. He said he was willing to forgive me because he fully believes that I was blacked out. I have never given him reason not to trust me up until now.
So, this is the start of my new better life! I am definitely sticking to this board for support and to update y'all on my progress. There are great people here. I feel that posting here is going to help greatly when I need support the most because y'all can relate to the situations.
Thank you so much again!!