I would like to recommend a book for you called co-dependant no more it explains all the feeling that we as people who love alcoholics or addicts become addicted in essence to our spouses or boyfriends, I have found it to be very enlightening and it has helped me to make some very important decisions concerning ME and my best interest. Please remember you are never ALONE, You have yourself and that is the most important person that you can change you cannot change any one else. You also have God on your side,and he will never leave you, even in your darkest hour. Also remember this too shall pass.