3 years and I'm back - back on the path of recovery
It's been over 3 years since I've been here on SR. I was sober for 4 months and life was looking less grim. But unfortunately I relapsed - that one drink (which I thought I could control) turned into two and kept on multiplying.
I'm currently dealing with the wreckage (issues with health, legal, personal - the list is long) of the past 3 years and finding myself here again to find some renewed hope. I'm so broken, a wailing of the soul. The voices in my head torment me. Feeling so hopeless.
One thing I know for certain though is that I do not want to drink ever again. What I'm not certain about is the "how" to never drink again and to clear the wreckage of my past (especially the past 3 years).
I finally (and honestly this time) admit to my alcoholism. I started going to AA meetings and have a sponsor. Today is my 66th day of sobriety. Yet the fear of that first drink still haunts me as I know what it can do to me. I can't hit rock bottom (again).
Back on the path of recovery has been extremely difficult. How can I regain something that is lost? Will life be whole again? Where do I begin?
Any words of hope you can share about your path of recovery (the second, third ... time around) is much appreciated.