Peter, It's so good to meet you. You're never alone - you have us.
I felt the same as you when I was young. I chose to ignore the warning signs and just kept trying to control it. My life was torn apart because I couldn't imagine life without alcohol - yet it was bringing me nothing but misery. I don't know why I was so afraid to let go. There's a wonderful new life waiting for you - and you can get free. Please keep reading and posting - we're with you.