your fiancee is onto something.
what I found is that I needed to have balance in several areas in my life to support my sobriety.
I need to go to meetings - but not every single day obsessively.
I need to read the Big Book
I need to check in here at SR
I need to work the steps and have a sponsor
I need to have active recovery of some flavor every day.... but a balance among these above things. It doesn't have to be all of them.
That is my foundation for NOT DRINKING.
My foundation for Whole Sobriety then is a balance of;
Spiritual
Mental
Physical
Emotional
Creative
Rather than obsess on any one category, I need to strive intuitively to be balancing these elements. If I've been doing a lot of meetings but haven't picked up a guitar, written a poem, drawn a picture with my kids for a while.... I need to ensure I work a creative thing in that week sometime.
If I've been focusing on my inner world, meditating, doing some yoga, going to my counselor - but I've not been for a run or to the gym in several days - I've let the physical side slack off and I'm out of balance.
I need to re-learn how to live in a balanced way that addresses the basic DON'T DRINK - but in a way that also helps me stay sane and positive and healthy and connected to life.
This all takes time and - to me for the last 11 months - it really has been a form of re-building a new me. Learning more about me. Learning new ways to support me. Exploring spirit and self and life and the steps. Not doing ALL of it relentlessly.... not doing one or two things obsessively... but every day paying attention to some specific pieces of it, striving for progress, not perfection.
I'm glad you're back.
