I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Just as Dee wrote-sometimes the people in our lives can't comprehend the fact that we could be feeling this way so you need to find someone who can listen and help. If you are having these thoughts, they can dissipate or they can progress so getting treatment is very important. Is there a hotline in your country you can call? Could you make an appointment with your doctor to get a referral for treatment? If you feel desperate please hang on- many of us have felt suicidal, anxious and depressed and have been able to get through it with help. You don't have to do this alone. We are here for you!