For me I've found I can't talk to AH about certain events. The conversation always ends up in the same horrible, maddening place. I know that I am looking for validation and I'm wanting him to see things from my perspective. My AH is not in recovery so its just not possible. I talk to a trusted friend, counselor, pastor. It's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that my husband is not able to meet any of my emotional needs. This is the person I turned to for 20 years and now he can't take care of himself.