Terp, your threads often sound panicky and you jump from one catastrophic thought process to another.
Your H just got back from rehab not very long ago, correct? Didn't you just get a new job?
Some of this we call future tripping and you are tripping out on one worst case scenario after another. Your mind is definitely whirling, but it is you worrying it into these must act now freak out now peaks.
Your T wants you grounded so you can work on you.
What did your T recommend to do to get that way? Don't tell us, but write it down and stick it on your fridge, send it to yourself on your smart phone as a repeating calendar reminder, pray or meditate on it. Make it happen.
Whatever T said, that is what your focus should be.
Take care of you.
Take care of dogs.
Go to work.
Sleep.
Exercise.
Do these core things with the input from your T. Get grounded. Let RAH deal with himself. Let the marriage just be for now. It will be there to fix or dissolve 17 mo from now - trust me on that!