You might be a little bit deluded (the way we all are when we start trying to figure this stuff out) but you aren't insane. Not incurably so, anyway.
My suggestion is that you read all you can about alcoholism and what that REALLY means. There is plenty of information on this site.
Second, we loved ones are in love with the good we see underneath the alcoholism. And many alcoholics have great potential, are charming and intelligent people. BUT until they recover from the disease--REALLY recover--you will never have that "potential" realized.
Alcoholism is progressive--it gets worse over time. I do wonder whether he had really been sober for six months when you met him. I remember when I met my second husband (in a bar, of course), and the first time I went to his apartment I literally stumbled over a copy of AA's "Big Book." Since my first husband was a sober alcoholic (over 15 years at that point), and since I knew THIS guy was drinking, I asked what he was doing with that book. He told me that "a long time ago" he thought he might have a problem with alcohol but that he was now fine. I have no idea why I fell for that, knowing what I did about alcoholism, but he was bright, charming, and I saw a lot of good things in him.
He wound up hospitalized with liver failure and kidney failure. The doctors told me IF he lived (which was questionable for a couple of weeks), he would certainly need a liver transplant, and there was little hope of his getting one as long as he was drinking. Well, he got a little better, got sober, and was told after further testing that he had EARLY cirrhosis and would be fine if he never drank again.
Well, guess what. I married him and within a matter of months he was drinking as insanely as ever, had lost his job, and we could not afford to continue to live in the home we were renting. I cried, I begged, I pleaded, I threatened. Eventually I left him. That was seventeen years ago, and to the best of my knowledge he is still drinking. I don't know how he is still alive.
The other thing I suggest is finding an Al-Anon meeting and start going to those. It won't help you get him sober (that is entirely up to him), but it will help you with the "broken apart and empty" feelings.
Hugs, glad you're here.