Letting go of outcomes
Today I am going to a recruiter interview. Two weeks ago I went down in panic and anxiety after working for 4 weeks to get resume together and set up with 3 different kinds of interviews. I took a job that created so much anxiety and crying in me (it wasn't the right one) and backed out...which was good but took another 2 weeks until i got this recruiter call.
Back in the saddle and just focusing on my part...getting ready, being on time, showing up as fully as possible...and listening to my higher power and asking for help with my path and walk.
I am doing better...and hopefully the anxiety and lack of confidence won't show through...as it does (told my face is transparent)...turning all over to my HP.
I am going to go get ready now...and to simply pray the serenity prayer and to ask my HP for what is needed this morning.
Then I will come home and send out more resumes. Grateful that the anxiety and crying from fear are getting a bit better. Grateful for the new meds that are probably helping so I don't have to do it all alone as I usually try (scared of meds due to the addictive nature of the family genes on both sides but felt so rotten two weeks ago, reached out to doctor.
OK--back in the saddle again for today...just for today.
Working with my therapist is helping too...she is so non-judgmental that she is allowing me to do what comes and that is what works for me. I had her as an addiction group coordinator when we dealt with RAD crystal meth addiction 10-11 years ago...and it is a blessing to be able to feel safe.
Sending blessings to all here...